Have you googled therapy for self esteem, how to work on self-respect, what is self-compassion, how do I form self-confidence, therapy for self-love, self self self.. Odds are you’ve probably heard a handful of these “self” terms that all seemingly blend together in the therapy world meaning the same thing. The truth is, all of these “self’s” are the thoughts and feelings that flow out from a foundational belief in our worth as human beings. In contrast to the ever-changing ways we may think or feel about ourselves, self-worth is the inherent belief that we are worthy of being seen, heard and valued. It is the conviction that we are valuable regardless of external factors and are deserving of love and belonging simply because we exist. Our self-worth is what influences how we perceive ourselves, our relationships and our interactions with the world around us. It tells us who we really are and who we really are not.
There is both good news and bad news when it comes to this self-worth thing. Like any good therapist, I’ll start with the bad. Despite its importance, many of us struggle to understand and securely live out from a place of positive self-worth. Unfortunately as humans (especially as younger humans), we are not always protected from the harmful messages that can chip away at our sense of worthiness. This foundational belief can be influenced by a number of things such as our early childhood experiences, unmet needs, cultural expectations and societal pressures, as well as past and present relationship attachments. Whether overt or subtle, shame-based messages passed along to us that say “you’re not enough”, “you don’t belong” or “you’re undeserving of love” can greatly disrupt the truth that we are valuable and worthy of being delighted in as we are.
But the (really) good news? We can rescript those shame-filled messages that have been written into our story and rebuild an even stronger belief of our worth. This is possible by:
- Understanding where the lies that threaten our self-worth have come from through a lens of curiosity.
- Creating compassionate awareness around how lies have impacted the way we perceive ourselves and the world.
- Fostering safe and meaningful relationships through healthy boundaries and forgiveness.
- Engaging in truth-filled affirmations that speak to how irreplaceable, capable and ENOUGH each one of us truly is.
The truth is, there are no prerequisites to your worth, friend. You are enough, as you are, just as you were made to be, today.
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