Is It Normal to Struggle With Sex After Baby? Here’s What New Parents Should Know

Have you said...“Are we ever going to have sex again?”

Whether you're six weeks postpartum or six months into sleepless nights, it’s totally normal to feel uncertain, disconnected, or even a little scared about intimacy after baby. There’s may be feelings or concerns around bouncing back with your body and with your sex life after giving birth. But the truth is, sex and intimacy often look and feel different after becoming a parent and that's OK.

Here’s the good news: different doesn’t mean broken. With support, understanding, and awesome communication tools, intimacy after baby can be just as fulfilling—if not more so—than before.

The Six-Week Wait... or Dread?

You may have heard of the “six-week” rule—the typical amount of time your provider tells you to wait before having penetrative sex after giving birth. But here’s the reality: many people don’t feel ready physically, emotionally, or mentally by six weeks. And that’s okay. This six week mark is physically defined NOT emotionally defined. Our mind is not defined by this mark, it's defined by your comfort.

Why Sex Changes After Birth

There are a lot of reasons sex may feel different in the early stages of parenthood:

• Physical changes: Healing from vaginal birth or C-section, hormonal shifts, milk production and sleep deprivation can all affect desire and comfort.

• Emotional stress: Adjusting to your new role as a parent can leave little energy for intimacy.

• Relationship strain: Less time, new routines, and unspoken resentment can build emotional distance. Maybe you thought you'd be ready for sex, but aren't quite sure how to talk to your partner about how you are feeling.

• Body image and identity shifts: It's common to feel disconnected from both your body and mind. Many women share that they don't know how to feel sexy with the body changes. Women share frequently that the co-existing identity of being both a mother and a sexual person feels complicated and confusing.

Tips for Rebuilding Intimacy After Baby

If You're Wondering How to Begin Reconnecting With Your Partner (and Yourself), Here Are a Few Gentle, Realistic Tips:

1. Talk About Your Expectations

   Communication is the foundation of connection, especially during seasons of transition. Both partners should take time to check in and share their hopes, concerns, and expectations around intimacy, sex, and sensual connection during pregnancy and postpartum. Being honest about what feels supportive (or overwhelming) helps set the tone for mutual respect and care.

2. Keep Checking In

   Intimacy needs can shift day by day, especially after birth. Just because you once felt ready to resume sex at a certain point doesn’t mean that plan still feels good now. Give yourself (and your partner) permission to change the plan, express new needs, or take a break. Flexibility is part of healing.

3. More Harm Can Come From Pushing Through

   Feeling pressure to "get back to sex" before you're ready—emotionally or physically—can lead to pain, discomfort, and even shutdown responses in the body. This kind of pressure can create a pattern of avoidance or fear around intimacy. Instead, honor your pace. It's not about “getting back”—it’s about moving forward gently, with attunement.

4. Redefine What Sex Looks Like

   Remember, intimacy doesn’t have to mean intercourse. Holding hands, cuddling, gentle touch—these small acts of closeness can lead to more when you’re both ready. Share when a touch feels good, or when you'd like to have some space.

5. Support your body and mind

   Don’t judge your body for how it looks, how it responds, or what it needs. This season of life brings change, along with new sensations, rhythms, and sometimes new challenges. Orgasm may not feel as accessible right now—and that’s okay. Focus on connection, not performance. Your body deserves curiosity, not criticism. Let pleasure be a conversation, not a goal.

You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone Either

Many new parents silently struggle with the emotional and physical shifts in their sex life. If you’re feeling disconnected, avoidant, anxious, or unsure about how to start the conversation, you're not broken. You are not failing. You are human.

At The Couch Therapy, our team of experienced sex and relationship therapists specialize in helping couples and individuals rebuild intimacy, restore communication, and reconnect with their sexual selves after parenthood.

Whether you're six weeks postpartum or several years into parenting, it's never too late to start integrating tools that support your relationship and your pleasure.