Neurodivergence and Trauma: How Growing Up Misunderstood Shapes the Nervous System

When we hear the word trauma, we often picture something obvious and dramatic, an accident, a loss, a moment that clearly changed everything. But for many neurodivergent people, trauma doesn’t come from one single event. It comes from years of being misunderstood.

Being corrected instead of supported.

Disciplined instead of accommodated.

Praised for masking, not for being.

This is where neurodivergence and trauma often quietly intersect.

What Do We Mean By Neurodivergence?

According to the National Autistic Society, neurodivergence is a “neurocognitive experience that diverges from what is considered typical.” Neurodivergence is the recognition that all brains are diverse, and that they interact with the world around them differently because of this. Neurodivergence groups in question are but are not limited to:

• Autism

• ADHD

• Dyslexia

• Dyspraxia 

• Dyscalculia

• Tourette’s syndrome

• Epilepsy

• Mental health related (e.g. anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar, schizophrenia, eating disorders)

• Sensory processing differences

• Developmental conditions 

• Brain injuries

Misconceptions About Trauma

When people hear the word trauma, they often think of a single, overwhelming event, something dramatic or life-threatening, like a car accident, the loss of a loved one, or a large-scale crisis. While these experiences can absolutely be traumatic, they are not the only way trauma shows up.

The Truth About Trauma

Francine Shapiro, the developer of EMDR, describes trauma as “dysfunctional memory, stemming from overwhelming events that the brain cannot properly process or integrate.” In other words, trauma occurs when experiences are too much for the nervous system to fully make sense of in the moment. Those unprocessed memories can become “stuck” in the brain, continuing to trigger emotional, physical, and cognitive reactions long after the original experience has passed.

Neurodivergence and Trauma

For many people, especially neurodivergent individuals, trauma is not one single event, but something more chronic and relational. This is often referred to as complex trauma: a series of experiences over time that leave a lasting impact on how someone sees themselves, others, and the world around them. These experiences may not be as recognized by society, but do deeply impact development and sense of self. 

Research consistently shows that neurodivergent people are more likely to experience trauma. Some studies suggest they are up to 70% more likely to have experienced traumatic events compared to neurotypical individuals. In a 2020 study by Rumball and colleagues, approximately 60% of autistic adults reported probable PTSD at some point in their lifetime, significantly higher than rates found in the general population.

How The Nervous System Holds Trauma

Trauma doesn’t always announce itself clearly. Instead, it often shows up through nervous system patterns that can feel permanent or confusing, such as:

• Difficulty with emotion regulation

• Challenges with attention, memory, or focus

• Numbness, disconnection, dissociation, or withdrawal from others

• Chronic hyper-vigilance or feeling “on edge”

When trauma is viewed through this lens, the overlap between neurodivergence and trauma begins to make more sense, not as coincidence, but as a nervous system shaped by chronic stress, misunderstanding, and unmet needs. Our bodies have a built-in stress response system, controlled by the autonomic nervous system. According to Amanda Kirby (2024) the autonomic nervous system determines how our heart rate and blood pressure react during stressful situations. Patterns in these responses can vary among individuals, with some people having more of an exaggerated response to stress, while others may have a more suppressed one.

Due to these variations, Neff (2022) reports that neurodivergent folx may be more vulnerable to developing PTSD due to:

• More reactive nervous systems, meaning stress, threat, and overwhelm are often felt more intensely

• Higher rates of victimization, including bullying, misunderstanding, and boundary violations. For example, Haruvi-Lamdan et al. (2020) found that Autistic females reported more negative life events, particularly social events, than their neurotypical peers.

• Sensitive sensory profiles, which can encode experiences and memories with greater intensity

• Chronic stress from navigating an allistic (neurotypical-centered) world, where needs are often misunderstood, minimized, or invalidated

None of this means something is “wrong.” Rather, it reflects a nervous system that adapted in the ways it knew how to survive. Our bodies develop strategies to protect us from danger, and in turn, these adaptations may show up as hypervigilance, strong emotional reactions, shutdowns, or avoidance.

Healing Begins with Understanding

With trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming care, neurodivergent folx are offered a safe space to share their stories, understand how their brain and nervous system respond to experiences, and cultivate greater compassion toward themselves and the impacts of past trauma or negative self-beliefs. Some ways that therapist create this space include principles of:

1. Safety - Prioritize physical, emotional, and sensory safety in all interactions.

2. Choice and Collaboration -Center the client’s voice: ask for consent before interventions and respect preferences.

3. Understanding and Validating Experience - bringing attention to the nervous system, and the ways our body protected itself from past trauma. Validating the emotions from those experiences

4. Strengths-Based Perspective - Helping clients reframe traits or behaviors that were once viewed as negative or challenging, and instead recognizing the unique strengths and abilities of each person’s brain, building self-efficacy and autonomy

5. Flexibility and Accommodation- Creating a therapeutic space that meets each individuals needs. Adjust sensory, communication, and environmental demands to support access and engagement.

6. Nonjudgmental, Compassionate Language - Use affirming, inclusive, and accessible language that centers the client’s identity and experience.

7. Integration with Trauma and Neurodivergent Needs - Provide supports that honor both trauma recovery and neurodivergent processing styles.

Getting Support Today

Trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming therapy supports not only understanding past experiences but also developing resilience, self-compassion, and strategies for navigating life more safely and confidently.

The Couch Therapy would be honored to be a space to support clients in Texas who resonate with this blog. We offer free 15-minute consultations with our clinicians to offer you a space to ask questions, and learn more about how our team can best support you https://www.thecouchtherapy.org/category/our-team