Ah, the classic family gathering where everyone becomes a life coach or therapist. Where unsolicited advice is just flying left and right. Whether it's your career, relationships, or that tattoo you got last summer, stand your ground. Embrace your choices with confidence and, if needed, throw in a phrase like, "I’m not looking for input but if I’d like input I’ll let you know”.
Setting the Tone: It's okay to establish boundaries before the festivities begin. Communicate with your loved ones about the topics that are off-limits and the importance of respect. A preemptive strike can go a long way in keeping the holiday vibe positive. Speaking of- check out our Preemptive Strike Checklist that helps you set and apply holiday boundaries. You can save this free checklist and review it with a support person in your life who has your back and can help you in creating an environment where you feel that someone has your back. Since you can’t bring your therapist to your Holiday Gathering (lame right?!) make sure to walk through this holiday checklist before attending the gathering so you can feel prepared for whatever comes your way.
If the boundaries aren’t honored because the family member is unable to honor the boundary share an elevator speech boundary - something like “I know you’d like to continue this conversation but I’m not intersted in talking about it any longer so I’m going to go see what’s going on in the kitchen”. Leave the space, grab some air, talk to a loved one, grab some food, take a walk, stretch, call your BFF, peace out early or just do whatever you need to ground yourself.
However you manage the holiday minefield please know that you deserve to be seen heard and valued.
We see you!
The Couch Therapy Team!
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