Let’s call this tales from a fertility therapist.
My name is Emily & I work in the fertility community as a therapist in Texas. I have the opportunity to work with individuals and partners hoping to build their families through a variety of ways. We frequently talk surrogacy, loss, and all things IVF.
Anytime a major new story hits about a celeb pregnancy the world typically rattles and rolls with the joy of the success story- especially the stories about fertility struggles. Sometimes these stories bring my clients hope. Sometimes they bring unexpected complicated feelings and emotions.
A few weeks ago we had a double whammy. Kourtney Kardashian got pregnant after a very publicly documented IVF journey and Chrissy’s had a surprise birth of another child by surrogate. My first thought as a fertility therapist is- yay science. Second is here we go…. Here’s why!
The ripple effect of these pregnancies brings hope and really hard grief all in the same breath. Conversations begin on social media, the work place and even with well meaning family members and friends. The past few weeks have brought many sessions processing about well meaning people sharing “Kourtney did it- so can you”. Let’s be clear- hope is lovely but when we try to fix a person’s grief who is walking a difficult fertility journey comparing them with a celeb pregnancy is like comparing apples and oranges when it comes to access to care.
Here’s why….. We are missing the messy middle. The fertility community knows all too well that access to care, diagnosis and treatment comes with a difficult journey that is typically not covered through healthcare. You can read more here. Celebrities have access to treatments, physicians- options. They don’t have to measure the next round of IVF by how much is left in their account or if they can start a go fund me for treatment. We can all agree that anytime there is a fertility struggle the journey is difficult regardless. And we have to acknowledge that there is a level of privilege when we boast a celeb’s success journey.
If you are on a journey of exploring your fertility options and feel lost and alone there are great resources to help get you plugged into the fertility community. Websites like Resolve allow you to learn about the true reality of a difficult fertility journey. Learn more about your options for family building here as well as financial resources for your journey
If you care about advocating for access to care you can start your journey here and if you have someone you love navigating a fertility journey you can learn more about how to support them with acknowledgement and care on their journey here.
It’s okay you’re not okay! You don’t have to walk this journey alone and we’d love to join you on your fertility journey. Reach out today and we’d love to help you get connected with a therapist who specializes in fertility care.
-Emily Morehead, MA, LPC, PMH-C
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