Is This Normal in Therapy? Common Thoughts We All Have

Have you ever attended therapy and thought, “Is it weird that I’m having this experience?” or “Am I doing this whole ‘therapy thing’ right?” Let me say this clearly: you are not alone. Therapy can be a unique space — often unlike any other part of our lives — where all parts of you are welcome. Even the ones you feel confused about, unsure of, or afraid to share out loud.

It can feel like uncharted territory. And when you’re exploring your inner world, it’s totally normal to question the process. But here’s the truth: many of the thoughts and feelings that show up in therapy are actually part of the work itself.

Let’s reduce the isolation of these “Is this normal?” moments and explore what’s actually common to think, feel, or experience while in therapy.

Common Therapy Experiences People Wonder About

1.Feeling stuck or frustrated

Therapy isn’t always linear. Progress can be slow and sometimes, even just showing up to therapy is the work. As Carl Rodgers stated, "The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination."

2.Desire to skip therapy

It’s not uncommon to wake up on therapy day and think, “I don’t want to go today.” This feeling might show up especially after a session that felt emotionally heavy, raw, or exposed something tender.

Here’s the thing: wanting to skip therapy doesn’t mean it’s not working. In fact, it might be the opposite — a sign that you’re approaching something meaningful, something real.

3.Fear of expressing emotions in session

Vulnerability can feel scary, especially if you’re not used to it! Maybe you were taught to keep emotions “in check.” Maybe it feels unsafe to cry in front of someone. Or maybe you worry about what your therapist might think if you let those emotions show.

Whatever the reason — it makes sense. Emotional expression doesn’t always come naturally, and therapy can surface feelings you didn’t even realize were there. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to be “ready” to feel everything right away. Therapy is a space where you can take your time. You get to build trust at your own pace. There’s no gold star for crying in session — and no shame in holding back either.

4.Worrying about being “too dependent” on your therapist

A strong connection with your therapist isn’t something to be ashamed of — it’s often part of the healing. The therapeutic alliance — is one of the most powerful tools for growth. If you didn’t grow up with consistent support, warmth, or emotional attunement, feeling connected to your therapist can feel new… and sometimes even scary. But that sense of dependence doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It might mean you're learning what safe, supportive relationships can feel like.

5.Feeling like you aren’t “bad enough” for therapy

There’s no threshold you need to meet to deserve support. You don’t have to be in crisis. You don’t have to have a diagnosis. You don’t have to justify your pain by comparing it to someone else’s. Therapy isn’t reserved for people who are at rock bottom — it’s for anyone. In fact, this belief — that you're not “bad enough” for therapy — is often shaped by the same patterns therapy helps unravel: minimization, self-doubt, or the tendency to invalidate your own experience.

Brene Brown shares in her book Dare to Lead, "If we believe empathy is finite, like pizza, and practicing empathy with someone leaves fewer slices for others, then perhaps comparing levels of suffering would be necessary. Luckily, however, empathy is infinite and renewable. The more you give, the more we all have."

Take the piece of pizza.

6.Struggling to notice immediate change

If you’ve ever walked out of a session thinking, “Did that even help?” — you’re not alone. Sometimes therapy feels profound and illuminating… and sometimes it just feels like talking. Insight and growth take time. Healing isn’t always a an “aha” moment, but more often slow and steady. You might not notice the change right away — but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

Research even backs this up. Hayes and colleagues (2011) found that change in therapy doesn’t follow a straight, predictable path. Instead, it’s nonlinear — often full of ups and downs, plateaus, and sudden shifts. You might feel stuck for a while and then experience a burst of insight, or notice small changes that only make sense in hindsight.

7.Going off-topic 

Ever find yourself halfway through a session thinking, “Wait, why am I talking about this?” Maybe you came in with something specific to work on… and ended up telling a long story about your dog, your coworker, or a random memory from high school. Sometimes going "off-topic" can hold deeper meaning through hidden thoughts or emotions coming to the surface. Our minds often connect memories/thoughts/emotions to each other that we wouldn't originally realize.

8.Not always feeling like you had a “breakthrough” session

Some sessions leave you feeling clear, empowered, or deeply moved. Others? Not so much. You might leave thinking, “Did we even get anywhere today?”

Here’s the truth: not every session needs to be groundbreaking to be valuable. Just like in life, progress in therapy can be nonlinear. Some days you’ll dig deep, other days you’ll reflect, vent, or even sit in silence. All of it has value.

9.Having fun or “lighter” moments in session

Therapy isn’t all tears and heavy processing — sometimes, it includes laughter, playful banter, inside jokes, or even joyful stories. And that’s not a sign you’re avoiding the “real work.”

Laughter can be healing too. In fact, moments of lightness can help build connection, safety, and trust with your therapist. They remind us that therapy isn’t just about what’s painful — it’s also about what’s meaningful, funny, hopeful, or just plain human.

10.Realizing you are worthy of safe, supportive, and fulfilling relationships

One of the most transformative parts of therapy can be the quiet, gradual realization: You are worthy to be love, seen, and heard. While in therapy you will start to shed the layers of self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness, leaving us with the core of who we authentically are. And from that place, self-love begins to take root.

In Closing

Therapy isn’t a perfect, linear journey — it’s a process filled with nuance, questions, emotions, and slow but meaningful shifts. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this normal?” — the answer is yes. What you're feeling is part of being human, and part of what makes therapy such a tender space. If you are interested in seeking therapy, take our quiz to learn which therapist at The Couch Therapy would be the best fit for you