How to Talk to Your Teens About Going Back to School

As summer winds down, many parents start to feel the tension build, and not just from shopping for backpacks and organizing carpool schedules. Emotionally, the back-to-school transition can stir up anxiety, resistance, or big emotions in kids of all ages. As a therapist, I often get questions by parents asking, "How do I talk to my teen about school without making it worse?"

Here are a few practical, therapist informed tips to guide these conversations:

1.Start Exploring The Topic Of School Early

Don't want until the night before school to bring it up. Casually start to explore questions like, "How do you feel about the upcoming school year?", "Is there anything you are nervous or excited about?"

Starting the conversation with casual curiosity allows your teen room to share any feelings/thoughts they have, and maintain a open door to talk about it as the time gets closer.

2.Normalize All Feelings About School Starting

It's okay, and normal, for your teen to have a mix of emotions towards school starting. Part of them may feel excited to see their friends more, or start a new season of their favorite sport, or elective. Or, part of them may feel nervous about having new teachers, classmates, or taking difficult classes.

All of these parts are valid, and it goes a long way for your teen to hear you say, "I remember feeling that way too"/"I totally understand that"/"I understand you"

3.Avoid Dismissive Statements, Like "You'll Be Fine"

It's tempting to stay something reassuring like "You'll be fine!", but that typically will shutdown the conversation. Here’s why: while your intention is to be supportive, statements like this can unintentionally invalidate the impact of your child’s thoughts and the emotions that come with them.

Even though we’ve been through school ourselves and know they have the resilience to manage it, our teens are experiencing this for the first time, and this is their current reality, their world. What feels small to us might feel huge to them. Taking their emotions seriously creates space for trust, vulnerability, and connection.

4.Collaborate On A Plan For First Day Of School

One way to support your teen is making a loose plan on what to expect. This could include identifying things in their control to plan for like:

• What to wear

• What to pack

• What to do for lunch (packed or school bought?)

• Looking at their schedules to gain comfortability on where to /what time lunch is/ when the day is over

5.Noticing Body Language

Not every adolescent is able to speak on their emotions or thoughts. If you are struggling to understand your teen, consider looking out for changes in:

• Sleep

• Relationship with food (eating less than normal/eating to point of discomfort)

• Irritability or isolation

• Coping mechanisms (skin/fingernail picking, change in exercise, increase in screen time, etc)

  
  

6.Reminding Them They Are Safe

School brings up a lot of changes, and simply being reminded that they are safe and supported can help your child feel more grounded. Keeping an open door of communication and support will remind your teen that even if everything around them feels like it's changing, you are still a constant in their life.

When To Consider Additional Support When School Starts

It is normal for your teen to have a range of emotions while readjusting to going back to school. However, if you notice the topic continues to be distressing for your teen, it may be helpful to have another person of support. At The Couch Therapy located in Texas, we specialize in helping teens adjust to school transitions and other life stressors. Whether your teen is just a little nervous or really struggling, therapy can be a safe place for them to work through those feelings.

We offer free, 15-minute consultation calls to learn more about what your family is looking for, and how we can help support you. To schedule a consultation call, consider taking our therapist quiz, to see which therapist may be the best fit https://thecouchtherapy764.outgrow.us/Copy-of-thecouchtherapy764-2-1

Warmly,

Taylor

#texastherapy